That's Who...

...I am.

If I live to be a hundred and never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues, if I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know where I stand
It's all a part of me
That's who I am

So when I make big mistake, when I fall flat on my face
I know I'll be alright.
Should my tender heart be broken, I will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know where I stand
It's all a part of me
That's who I am

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstable
I am young but I'm able

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know where I stand
It's all a part of me
That's who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

Recently I was talking to my coworker about life, relationships and more specifically marriage. This coworker has been married and divorced, and it seems as if she feels the whole situation was a mistake from the beginning. Her comment to me was "Don't ever get married Nichole. Or, at least not until after you are 27. Because, until then you don't really know who you are." At first I agreed with her...for a minute or two. But for some reason, that I couldn't previously explain, the statement just bugged me. Tonight it hit me, why this statement bothered me so bad. Its not that I don't think my coworker has valid points behind her argument for marrying later in life than most girls do, I agree that some people do get married too young, and that makes marriage a bit more of a struggle. The reason this statement has bothered me, and stayed with me for almost a week, is the very last part of the statement..."you don't really know who you are."

That statement couldn't be farther from the truth. I know deep in my soul who I am. And that identity will never change. I know why I'm here. I know what the future can hold. I know who I want to be and where I want to go, not just right now, but in the grander picture of forever. That is why I added the song lyrics above. Because if you change the chorus ever so slightly it truly is perfectly fitting:

I am Elva Christine's grandaughter
The spitting image of my mother
and when the day is done
my dad is still my biggest fan.
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends that love me
And they know where I stand
Its all a part of me, that's who I am.

I know who I am, because I know what matters most in life, Faith, Family and Friends.

I know where my faith is, it is in God, our Heavenly Father, and in Jesus Christ. It is in their plan for our eternal happiness. I have faith in our Heavenly Father, that he loves us, and wants us to return to live with him in glory after we leave this mortal life. I have faith that He provided a way for that to be possible, through the atoning sacrifice of His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. I have faith that Jesus Christ loves each of us so much that He lived a perfect life, then sacrificed Himself on the cross. I know that His sacrifice was and is infinite and eternal, that it was an intimate act in which he suffered for MY sins. I know that he would have suffered the atonement, the pains and anguish of Hell, even if I was the only person who would ever benefit from it. He suffered for each of us individually, and collectively. He knows our trials, he knows our pains, he knows our grief, thus He is the perfect confidant, because His compassion and empathy are endless. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and eternal, and that the keys to unlocking the numberless blessings of His gospel are held within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have faith in the Prophets, and in modern revelation. I know God loves us enough that he wouldn't leave us alone, with no guidance for our time. He speaks through living prophets today, and they teach His will, Love, service, charity. These things I know with every fiber of my being, down to the deepest depths of my soul. Because I know these things, I know that I am a divine daughter of God. I know that one day I can return to His kingdom of glory, and become a god like Him. Therefore, I know I am a goddess in training, and must act as such.

I know who my family and friends are. From each of them I glean pieces are parts of myself that have shaped my character, and developed my intellect. Each is unique, and my relationships with them are varied. But the one thing that remains constant, is the fact that they know what I stand for and, more importantly, what I will not fall for. They know where my rock is, my unshaken foundation. They know, because I know.

Sure, sometimes I mess up. I can be just as dumb, clumsy, inconsiderate, foolish, oblivious or spacey as the next person. I make mistakes, but that is the beauty of life, and the atonement. No matter how many times I get it wrong, I'll always have another chance to get it right. Heavenly Father will make sure of that. I can always strive to be a better person, and in the end, I just might become who I am capable of being; the goddess I'm training to become.

Now, don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying all of this because I'm looking to get married tomorrow. But I'm just saying that I don't need to wait until I figure out who I am before I'll be ready to get married. I already know, because it is part of my soul. I've always known, and I'll always know. It is just a matter of remembering.